Semester break finally. It has been so quiet now, I just love it.
One week to rest and regain strength to start over, I was needing this.Now I've time to do my reviews, see my tv shows, be with my family, just relax and watch a movie.
Things are good now, I'm not scared any more. I'm more excited for my trip to Italy, yeah I'm going.
Me and two friends, it's going to be great and then I'll post here some pictures.
That's for now, I've got stuff to do.
bye
segunda-feira, 23 de fevereiro de 2009
quinta-feira, 5 de fevereiro de 2009
i'm scared
I'm scared. Right now I shaking, I can't stop shaking.
How can a few word have this impact on someone?
I've just erased my last post here, i just didn't knew how to say this.
Have you ever felt lost? like someone says something to you and your world just stop, those words have such a negative impact on you that you just can't deal with it?
That's exactly how I'm felling right now. I've just talked with my mother, I do that every day. (I'm studying away from home).
My father is a complicated person, one day everything is ok the next he just gets drunk. It's really hard for me to write these words but I have to let it out. I don't understand him anymore, I don't understand the need he has to get drunk and start yealling at me or my sister, because it's late or something stupid like that. He has said some horrible things to me, things I can't forget even if I try really hard to. Some were true some weren't but most were things he was also guilty. I know I'm not the perfect child! We all make mistakes but his are getting worse.
He has to have the final saying in everything, even when he is not right, what happens most of the times. The problem is that this has been on for years, he gets drunk, my mother and sister lose their ride to work and school, he misses work, there are arguments, he has an accident, the list goes on.
My mother 10 min ago said "I've had it, this is been on for to long. I getting sick and tired of this." That really scares me because I know she is right, sometimes it is impossible to talk to him, I myself have no patience, if I respond or something like that he just starts yelling. That's why most of the times I just can't be around him when he starts being like that.
My cousin thinks it's funny, that he only does this sometimes but she has no idea.
I can't even imagine my family apart, it's something that scares me to death. I love my family, I hate when this happens, I hate seeing my mother suffer like that, nervous like that, i hate that my father does those things, i don't get it.
This makes me feel so sad, so hopeless, so alone. I'm not a person that cries, I'm the kind that holds everything inside, just keeps holding and holding until the day that explodes and ends up hurting the wrong people. I try not to get upset or hurt but these things get to me.
I just...i don't know what to do...
How can a few word have this impact on someone?
I've just erased my last post here, i just didn't knew how to say this.
Have you ever felt lost? like someone says something to you and your world just stop, those words have such a negative impact on you that you just can't deal with it?
That's exactly how I'm felling right now. I've just talked with my mother, I do that every day. (I'm studying away from home).
My father is a complicated person, one day everything is ok the next he just gets drunk. It's really hard for me to write these words but I have to let it out. I don't understand him anymore, I don't understand the need he has to get drunk and start yealling at me or my sister, because it's late or something stupid like that. He has said some horrible things to me, things I can't forget even if I try really hard to. Some were true some weren't but most were things he was also guilty. I know I'm not the perfect child! We all make mistakes but his are getting worse.
He has to have the final saying in everything, even when he is not right, what happens most of the times. The problem is that this has been on for years, he gets drunk, my mother and sister lose their ride to work and school, he misses work, there are arguments, he has an accident, the list goes on.
My mother 10 min ago said "I've had it, this is been on for to long. I getting sick and tired of this." That really scares me because I know she is right, sometimes it is impossible to talk to him, I myself have no patience, if I respond or something like that he just starts yelling. That's why most of the times I just can't be around him when he starts being like that.
My cousin thinks it's funny, that he only does this sometimes but she has no idea.
I can't even imagine my family apart, it's something that scares me to death. I love my family, I hate when this happens, I hate seeing my mother suffer like that, nervous like that, i hate that my father does those things, i don't get it.
This makes me feel so sad, so hopeless, so alone. I'm not a person that cries, I'm the kind that holds everything inside, just keeps holding and holding until the day that explodes and ends up hurting the wrong people. I try not to get upset or hurt but these things get to me.
I just...i don't know what to do...
Subscrever:
Mensagens (Atom)